Posts Tagged ‘Questions’
The grass is no greener…
Posted on: June 22, 2010
- In: Cheating | Divorce | Questions
- 2 Comments
I planned to post Part II of my vacation as my next entry, but I must interrupt to talk about why do people think that the grass is always greener on the other side. I was going to title this, Why do men cheat?” but decided since there are men bloggers who talk about their cheating wives I would refrain from doing so . My biggest question is, “why do people feel the need to explore when they already have it pretty good?” I am not referring to my own marriage. Despite the fact that it played some of the role in the failure of my marriage. No, today I was informed of yet another marriage ruined by the wandering eye. I use eye to be polite, but we ladies know what really was wandering. I feel like lately all I hear about is “wandering eyes”, Jessie James, Tiger Woods, my own friends, etc. My biggest question is Why? Why do people feel that they need to find something else? Is something missing? or are we just in a disposable society where when we are done with something we’d rather throw it away than fix it?
I feel like marriages are disposable. Worst off, people feel the need to explore their options, before even getting rid of what they already have. It’s like a new toy or gadget. We see the newest Droid or iphone and have to have it, despite the fact that the one we have works great. Sure it has some issues, and maybe needs a few updates, but overall it works great. Instead it is tossed aside for something new. I say new, because it is not necessarily better. In fact often we learn that what seemed to be the greatest new thing is full of bugs and problems, often worse than the old model we tossed aside. It just takes time for those bugs and problems to come out, after the excitement dies down.
Is that what happens with relationships now? Do people just see a relationship as something that works for while and then it is time to trade in our spouse for a new one? Is that other person really better, or is it just because it is new and exciting? I could go on and on about this topic, but for now I’d like to hear everyone else’s views and opinions on the matter?
Do we really live in disposable society? Has this disposable society affected people’s views on relationships?
Why do people not see the good in what is right infront of them?
Do you know of anyone, your own spouse, past relationships, friends, etc. that have been affected by the “wandering eye”?
Are they Just Flip Flops?
Posted on: April 23, 2010
- In: Advice | Divorce | Memories
- 6 Comments
Yesterday I was cleaning out my closet and I found my “Just Married” flip flops. I sat there staring at them and thinking, what do I do with them? Do I keep them, do I throw them away? They are just flip flops, but they symbolize so much more. I look at them and I remember opening the gift. His and Her flip flops and Just Married T-shirts. I remember walking hand in hand on the beach on our honeymoon printing “Just Married” into the sand. Are they just flip flops or are they more than that? This got me thinking. What do you do with the “other wedding gifts”: the wedding frames, photo albums, cute bride and groom gifts (His and Hers mugs , Mr & Mrs. towels, Bride and Groom cookbooks, etc.)?
I remember when I broke up with my first ex boyfriend in college I could not throw away the “memories” (photos, gifts, ticket stubs, cards, etc.) and sealed them in a box. We ended up back together again for a while and I was relieved I had held onto them. In the four years with my husband I collected a lot “memories”. We both held onto everything. Every card we wrote to each other, the guitar pick from the first concert we saw together, the cute little stuffed animals. You name it, we saved it. Yes, we were sentimental fools. To me it was more than photos and ticket stubs. It was our “memories”.
When my husband and I first separated, there was talk that it would be temporary, and I thought the items would be resurfaced from their temporary home, a Rubbermaid bin. After he took all of his things the only things I had left of him were the wedding memorabilia and other “stuff”. Now that it’s been six months and it’s very clear divorce is in our future, I don’t know what to do with them. Do I still seal them in a box, never to be opened? Do I throw them away? Friends have suggested a bonfire, but that’s just not me.
My question to my fellow divorcees is, What did you do with your wedding memorabilia and other “stuff”? Please feel free to leave any advice or tips. Thanks
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