It blows my mind that it was over a year ago that I wrote my first blog entry, No longer two, but one. Thinking about the journey I have traveled since that day astounds me. Where I was back then and Where I am now. I remember back to that time when I first began my blog. We had finally decided to go through with the divorce, and I sat there staring at a wedding invitation from my best friend, pondering what my life would be like now that I was no longer  checking off TWO, but ONE. I was SINGLE and SCARED. I was on my own and going back to making decisions just for ME.

It’s interesting to think about all the things in our life that are impacted when what once was TWO becomes just ONE. Grocery shopping trips were based on what I wanted for dinner, no more compromise on what tv show or movie to watch. Bills were MY  responsibility.  It was just ME. My journey as ONE had begun and it was quite the adjustment, but an adjustment I was looking forward to making for the very first time.

So this year as August faded into September I thought back to that time, when my  journey as ONE becoming TWO first began. It was Sept 13, 2006 when I decided to say yes, and commit the rest of my life with John, a few weeks later we merged our belongings officially and moved into OUR first place TOGETHER, then a little less than a year later, September 16, 2007 I said I DO, and thought I was committing to a lifetime of TOGETHERNESS. Ironically 2 years later, almost to the date, September 15, 2009  I made the decision to become ONE again. It was made official almost a yr later, September 8, 2010, when I said “I don’t” and my journey as ONE was well underway.

Last week while standing in Lowes looking at paint samples I looked over at J and realized WOW, my journey as ONE is coming to a close, and soon it will be TWO again. It was not just my decision on the color, but OURS. Filling out the RSVP card for my friend’s upcoming wedding, I was once again checking off TWO, not ONE. Planning out meals and creating a shopping list was not just for ONE but now TWO. Deciding what television show to watch would soon be compromise.

As J and I merge our TWO lives together, we are becoming ONE, but still with TWO separate personalities and TWO separate minds. What he does affects me and vice versa. This really became apparent the other day when I became upset because he was not thinking about TWO, but only ONE (himself). I know there will be times when our TWO separate ways of doing things may conflict, but it’s not just about what I or HE thinks all the time, but what WE think. As mentioned before in my last post, there will be a lot of ALONE time or ME time, but there will also be also be a lot of TOGETHERNESS.I am excited as my journey as ONE person comes to a close, and becomes TWO. I look forward to the compromises, checking off TWO on the RSVP card, picking out groceries for TWO, deciding on what color to paint OUR bedroom, etc. We are TWO people very much in love merging our TWO very different lives into ONE. I couldn’t be any happier.

“In love, ONE and ONE are ONE”~ Jean-Paul Sartre